22 Lessons I Learned in 2022 – Part 1

by D'Arcy Benincosa

As the year comes to a close, I reflect on all that I have grown from and learned about, and I take you with me! In this episode, I go through 12 lessons I learned in 2022. I get super honest about what my intentions were, where I wasted time, what I held on to, let go of and so much more. Hit play!

22 Lessons in 2022 – Part 1:

1. Happiness should be a priority. Be happy, the business will follow.

2. Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.

Open up to potential. Open to possibility. Open up for new directions. Open up to ease and make the decision not to struggle anymore. Your perspective is the most important choice you make every single day. Don’t look for ways to be offended. What people said. How people speak. I don’t look for anything to be offended by. Meet people where they are. Neutrality is the most important space you can be in. Neutrality is where solutions are found. Don’t be pulled into other people’s drama and chaos.

3. Trust Your Choices

Even when they don’t work out. A tale of my two coaches. I trust myself. I trust the unfolding of my life. I trust that i learn more from my mistakes than I do my successes. I trust what I’ve asked for. I trust what is presented in front of me and I use it as a compass to move forward–do I need to switch directions? Hell yes, if this thing just happened, then yes. Do I need stronger foundations? What is life showing me? Can I trust that it’s showing me exactly what I need to learn? Can I learn and then trust again? Yes. When things don’t work out how most people want them to, they distrust themselves. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t. Recognize your patterns.

4. Your habits determine your success.

You can change, you can build new habits. Habits create consistency. I eat the same things most days at the same time. I walk every day. I’ve recently joined a gym and go at the same time every day. I do a weekly workout routine that works all my major muscle groups. I do the same things again and again and again and again. This is called being an adult.

5. Get outside every single day.

If you can’t, then you need help. JAMP therapy is where I would start. You need to integrate the parts of yourself that are against you and trying to keep you safe.

6. Slow Down Time

Slow down time by doing at least 7 EVENT HORIZONS yearly experiences that are completely new to you. That require new thoughts. That help you experience new things. Egypt was one of these events for me. Sexy Dance class weekly. I take ongoing classes at Oxford University.

7. Rewrite your stories

You can rewrite your stories, but it will require courage and dedication through daily, consistent practice. A good coach can really help here. I rewrote my story about men, and not my closest friends are men. I trust them. It will take time, especially as you are creating your new stories, there is a limbo period that is not fun. Keep going, don’t go back to the familiar patterns and stories.

8. It is your divine birthright to feel safe in your body.

Safe in your home. Safety as you travel. Safety and protection always. I’m always safe and always protected. I vibrate safety. I put myself in safe situations. I don’t put myself in places where danger and evil lurk.

9. Recognize your intention

Is your intention love, fear, hate? Are you doing this because you love yourself (your body) or because you hate yourself (your body)-intention leads to a rebirth (gilt and shame vibration instead of neutrality and willingness). You cannot, cannot live your fullest potential with guilt or shame in your life. You cannot. It’s time to raise your consciousness. Those are the lowest vibrations on the planet. How can I consciously show up in Egypt without the guilt? How can I consciously show up as an ally without the guilt? I will NOT go down in the depths of guilt or shame and if I start–I know how to pull myself out immediately.

10. There is no shortcut to healing.

And it is your most important work. Taking all the parts of yourself that got fragmented during trauma. My stories about self love run deep. Not feeling wanted or chosen. Not feeling seen. You can’t run from it. The methods will appear as you face the trauma. The past will rewrite itself to one of neutrality and lessons instead of hurt and blame and resentment.

11. As you heal, life calms down.

The chaos leaves. You won’t even realize how much noise was in your life until peace comes. The peace of living for yourself. The peace of knowing who you are. The peace of dealing with conflict as it comes up in a grown up way and not giving into the drama (I’m looking at you photography world). The way you will immediately clear out people who are dramatic-in a loving and kind way–no explanation needed, they just won’t fit,, They will be too loud. They won’t feel comfortable around you anyway, they will think you are judging them. You aren’t, but you are being discerning and that’s what queens do.

12. My closest circle needs to have high self esteem

They need to know who they are. Story of Matt and Linda. A similar story but I saw it so completely. She wanted to be liked so much by a man to get approval that she would betray her friendships to get that approval because it didn’t exist within herself. In that one moment, that friendship was over. Done. I saw it and I see it and I don’t have time for even the possibility of that (see how drama goes away as you heal?). If you’re thinking, D’Arcy, I LIKE drama–then just go to Egypt! Find other ways to bring in the excitement and adventure–for me, I won’t play those low vibrational games anymore. Don’t take advice from people you don’t want to be and don’t be friends with people you wouldn’t want to be.