The Art of Decision Making

by D'Arcy Benincosa

In this episode, D’Arcy dives into the art of decision making and explore how it shapes our lives. She explains the power dynamics behind our choices and the impact they have on our well-being. Discover the importance of understanding ourselves, embracing choice and consequence, and building self-trust. She also explores the concept of replacing goals with identity-driven systems, allowing for continuous growth and success. Hit play! 


“If you want an easy life, do hard things today. If you want a hard life, do easy things today.” – Matthew Hussey

In life, we constantly find ourselves faced with decisions that shape our path and define who we are. The ability to make sound decisions is a skill that requires self-discovery and understanding. Each decision we make has consequences, both energetically and emotionally. It’s important to consider the power dynamics at play and the impact our choices have on our well-being.

Discovering Who You Are:


Life is a continuous journey of self-discovery, where we uncover our true selves with each passing decade. Our understanding of ourselves is often based on what we think we want, driven by fear. However, true self-discovery involves understanding our authentic desires and aligning our choices with our core values.

The Power Equation:


Every decision we make has a power dynamic attached to it. We must ask ourselves, “Is this decision costing me power or empowering me?” It’s crucial to evaluate the consequences of our choices and ensure that they align with our true selves. The study of power can help us navigate decision-making processes effectively and lead a more empowered life.

The Importance of Choice and Consequence:


Choice and consequence go hand in hand and are essential aspects of our personal growth. Understanding the impact of our choices and accepting responsibility for the consequences is a powerful lesson. By embracing this understanding, we can make decisions that align with our goals and values.

Building Trust in Yourself:


Making decisions can be challenging, especially when we face them alone. Building self-trust is crucial in navigating the decision-making process. This involves keeping your word to yourself and following through on your commitments. By honoring your own promises, you establish a foundation of trust within yourself, allowing for more confident decision-making.

Embracing Systems Instead of Goals:


James Clear, author of Atomic Habits writes about how goals are essential, but creating systems that support continuous growth and success is equally important. Rather than focusing solely on individual goals, adopting systems that align with our desired identities can lead to ongoing success. An example he gives is, if your goal is to run a marathon, developing a system of consistent training will allow you to become a runner, embodying an identity that supports long-term success.

A Framework for Decision Making:


Tim Ferris suggests a decision-making framework that can guide us through difficult choices.

  1. Consider if the decision is refundable, allowing for flexibility and adaptability.
  2. Assess the risks and benefits involved, considering not only financial implications but also the holistic impact.
  3. Consult your heart and gut, rather than solely relying on your mind. Your intuition can guide you in discerning whether a decision feels like a whole-hearted yes or a fear-based no.


Mastering the art of decision making is a lifelong journey. By understanding ourselves, evaluating power dynamics, embracing choice and consequence, and building trust in ourselves, we can navigate the decision-making process with confidence and wisdom. By replacing goal-driven thinking with systems that support our desired identities, we can cultivate a life of continuous growth and success. Remember, in every decision lies an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth.

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