Why People Lie and How to Stop

by D'Arcy Benincosa

Why people lie, and how to stop lying

In this episode, I dive into why people lie, what people lie about, and how to stop lying. Living with integrity is something I take very seriously and I think you should too! Interested in hearing about why people lie? Hit play!

As humans, we have a big resistance to the truth. Truths that make us feel bad. Negative truths especially, because they could lead to something we don’t want to know, see, or feel. Lying doesn’t just apply to external relationships, it also applies to the relationship with yourself. If you’re not honest with yourself, how can you be honest with others? 

10 types of lying to avoid (source): 

  1. Error. This type of lie can happen when you don’t know the whole truth and you retell misinformation. 
  2. Omission. This is when you don’t tell the whole truth, maybe you leave out bits and pieces that make the story more honest to protect yourself or others. 
  3. Denial. Denying that you know the truth happens all the time. Especially, when you know in your gut what is true, but you don’t believe yourself. 
  4. Falsification. Falsification goes hand in hand with malicious intent. If you are creating false information to hurt someone else, make a situation seem worse than it is, or to get attention, you’re falsifying. 
  5. Misinterpretation. This usually happens by accident and is similar to error. Maybe you don’t understand perfectly and you reshare wrong information, that is still spreading information that is not true, and therefore, a lie. 
  6. Bold-Faced Lie. Everyone knows this one. It’s when you know for certain that you’re lying, there is clear evidence, and you still commit to the lie. 
  7. White Lie. White lies are generally used with good intentions, but are still lies. Maybe you make a small lie to protect yourself or someone else’s feelings, this is still lying. 
  8. Exaggeration. It is common to add a little *spice* to a story, but is it the truth? 
  9. Pathological Lying. This type of lying is more of a mental illness, but lying nonetheless. 
  10. Minimization. Similar to a white lie, this is when the whole truth is left untold. You might minimize the damage of an accident to avoid causing more fear or hurt in a situation to avoid the negative consequences. 

The first step to stop lying, is to look at your past at different times you have told lies and look to repair them. This may require making amends with those you have lied to in the past, including yourself. 

Then, move forward with a commitment to telling the whole truth, even when you don’t want to, and embracing the negative consequences that may come with open arms. This will lead you to a beautiful life full of integrity and happiness. 

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LINKS:

Watch the invention of lying

Read this article from Medium.com

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